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Tips on Starting Potty Training

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Once your child is developmentally ready for potty training, here’s what you can do to pave the way to success.

You may (happily) have noticed that you’re changing fewer diapers lately and your little one is usually staying dry during nap time. These, along with other signs, indicate that it’s time to dive into the world of potty training. The key to potty training success is patience and an awareness that all tots reach this ever important milestone at their own pace. Different strategies work with different children, but these tips generally get the job done.

How will I know my toddler is ready to be potty trained?

If your little one isn’t developmentally ready for potty training, even the best toilet tactics will fall short. Wait for these surefire signs that your tot is set to get started:

  • You’re changing fewer diapers. Until they’re around 20 months old, toddlers still pee frequently, but once they can stay dry for an hour or two, it’s a sign that they’re developing bladder control and are becoming physically ready for potty training.
  • Bowel movements become more regular. This makes it easier to pull out the potty in a pinch when it’s time.
  • Your little one is more vocal about going to the bathroom. When your child starts to broadcast peeing and pooping by verbalizing or showing you through his facial expressions, potty training is on the horizon.
  • Your child notices (and doesn’t like) dirty diapers. Your little one may suddenly decide she doesn’t want to hang out in her dirty diapers because they’re gross. Yay! Your child is turning her nose up at stinky diapers just like you do and is ready to use the potty instead.

How old should my toddler be when I start potty training?

Kids are generally not ready to potty train before the age of 2, and some children may wait until 3 1/2. It’s important to remember not to push your child before he’s ready and to be patient. And remember that all kids are different. Your child is not developmentally lagging if he’s far into his 3s before he gets the hang of potty training.

Tips on preparing your toddler for potty training

She’s exhibiting all the signs that potty training systems are go. But don’t donate that stash of diapers just yet — there’s still work to do. These tips can help make a smooth transition to the active toilet-training phase:

  • Play up the pottying positives. Before your first diaper-free trial run, highlight the benefits of using the toilet. You might say, “Wearing underwear is fun!” or “Pretty soon you can flush, just like Mommy and Daddy!” But don’t knock diapers or call your child’s old habits babyish — that could provoke your tot’s contrarian streak and lead to real resistance.
  • Establish standard bathroom talk. Some experts recommend using formal words (defecate, urinate) rather than slang so kids won’t be embarrassed by babyish terms when they’re older — but what’s more important is to be consistent in your usage. And never refer to your child’s diaper contents as “smelly” or “gross”; she’ll be much more comfortable with toileting if she views elimination as a natural, non-“yucky” process.
  • Commend grown-up behavior in general. Let your child know that you support her burgeoning maturity by praising feats such as drinking from a cup without spilling and sharing toys with a friend. Don’t demand too much sophistication, however — if she feels pressured to perform, she may start yearning for the simpler days of babyhood (and acting accordingly).
  • Dress for potty training success. Get in the habit of dressing your toddler in the right potty training clothes (pants that pull up and down without any fiddling — no overalls or tricky buttons), and then practice the all-important pull-down maneuver. Ask your toddler to pull down her pants before diaper changes and then pull them back up after.
  • Show your toddler how to use the potty. Toddlers love to mimic, and the toilet is no different. Sure, you could explain to your child how to squat, wipe and flush, but it’s much more effective — not to mention efficient — to simply bring her to the bathroom and demonstrate. Not all parents are comfortable parting with their modesty, though, so don’t feel bad about skipping this step if it’s not quite your speed.
  • Bridge the gap between diapers and the potty. If possible, change your tot’s diapers in the room where her potty is stashed — this subtly reinforces the connection between the two. After she has a poopy diaper, bring her to the bathroom so she can watch you flush the contents. If she’s frightened of the flushing sound, just dump and flush later.
  • Pick the right potty. Look for a model that’s durable and won’t tip over when your child jumps up to check her progress. (For an added dose of excitement, shop together for the potty and wrap it as a “gift.”) Or opt for a potty seat. Some children balk at the “baby” potty and demand to use the “grown-up” one instead. In that case, buy a potty seat that simply attaches to the toilet. Look for a stable fit — a shaky seat can spook a child back into diapers for weeks — and a built-in foot rest, which offers something to push against during bowel movements.

Tips on starting potty training with your toddler

Potty training is a huge milestone and for many parents a rollercoaster ride, but take solace in the fact that you’ve laid the groundwork and now it’s time to put that potty to use!

  • Switch to pull-ups. When your child is just starting out on the potty, play it safe with the disposable variety. He can pull them down like underpants, but in the event of an accident they absorb like diapers and can be ripped off rather than pulled over his feet. Once your little one has enjoyed a few successes on the potty, try switching to washable cotton training pants.
  • Let her bare her bottom. To boost your child’s awareness of her body’s signals, allow her to scamper about (in a private yard or room with a washable floor) with her lower half unclad. It’s hard to ignore urine when there’s no diaper to hold it in. Keep the potty close by so your child can act on her body’s signals quickly.
  • Watch closely. At this point, you might be better at detecting his body’s signals than he is. Look for tell-tale signs (like fidgeting or straining) and gently ask when you suspect he has to go. Even if you’re too late and he’s already done the deed, have him sit on the potty anyway to reinforce the connection.
  • Keep her motivated. Remind her that using the potty means she’s growing up. In the beginning, a small, tangible incentive can help, too — for every success, try putting a sticker on the calendar or a penny in the piggy bank. As she becomes more comfortable using the potty, it’s best to phase out the rewards and let her inner motivation take over.
  • Teach him to check for dryness. This offers him an added sense of control. If he’s dry, give him a pat on the back (or a big hug), but don’t criticize him if he’s wet.
  • Be patient. Even the most enthusiastic toddler can take several weeks to master potty training proficiency — often with as many steps backward as forward. If your expectations are unrealistic, you could diminish her self-confidence. Don’t scold, punish or shame. No parent enjoys mopping up a puddle of pee, but try to stay cool. If you overreact, you might discourage your toddler’s future attempts.
  • Cut the nagging. Keep it casual when reminding your tot about using the potty — nagging will only provoke resistance. Similarly, don’t force him to sit or stay on the potty — even if you know he’s about to void. (Hey, you can lead your pony to the potty, but ultimately it’s his decision to use it.)
  • Don’t deny drinks. Many parents reason that by rationing fluids, they’ll cut their toddler’s chances of having an accident. But this approach is unfair and unhealthy — not to mention ineffective. In fact, the better tactic is to step up your child’s fluid intake to give her more opportunities to succeed.
  • Avoid a bathroom battle. Squabbling over going to the potty is sure to prolong the struggle. If you meet with total resistance, it’s best to throw in the towel (and the toilet paper!) for a few weeks. Be patient. As you wait for your child to come around, don’t bring up the subject or compare him to peers who are already in underpants.

Potty training doesn’t usually come easily or without bumps, so don’t underestimate the process. It’s all about waiting for signs of readiness in your toddler, setting the stage and diving in. While the prospect of ditching the diapers is exciting, getting there can try your parenting patience. But don’t lose hope. Potty training your toddler might seem endless, but sooner or later your little one will get the hang of it and outgrow diapers. Good luck!

Author: What to Expect Editors
This article was originally posted on: whattoexpect.com (here)

Kids & Heirs Blog – A “hub” of curated posts with valuable content, so you spend less time searching and more time with your little heirs.

Screen Time Guidelines for Babies and Toddlers

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Most of a baby’s brain development happens in the first 2 years of life. That’s why it’s so important for babies and toddlers to explore their environment and experience many sights, sounds, tastes, and textures. Interacting and playing with others helps children learn about the world around them.

For that reason, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends limiting the amount of time that babies and toddlers spend in front of a screen. That’s good advice — but in today’s world, it can be tough to keep babies and toddlers away from all the TVs, tablets, computers, smartphones, and gaming systems they’ll see.

Let’s face it: Screens are everywhere. Your little one is probably going to spend some time looking at one, so make sure his or her screen time is as productive as possible.

How Much Is Too Much?

Babies younger than 18 months should have no screen time at all. The exception to this rule is video chatting with grandparents or other family friends, which is considered quality time interacting with others.

Toddlers 18 months to 24 months old can start to enjoy some screen time with a parent or caregiver. By ages 2 and 3, kids should watch no more than 1 hour a day. 

But not all screen time is created equal. For example, you and your baby playing an interactive color or shape game on a tablet or watching high-quality educational programming together is good screen time. Plopping your toddler down in front of the TV to watch your favorite shows with you is an example of bad screen time. 

Use screen time as a chance to interact with your child and teach lessons about the world. Don’t let your child spend time alone just staring at a screen.

Screen Time Tips

The same parenting rules apply to screen time as to anything else — set a good example, establish limits, and talk with your child about it.

To make your toddler’s screen time more productive:

  • Be with young kids during screen time and interact with them. That can mean playing an educational game with your child or talking about something you see together in an age-appropriate TV show or video.
  • Research games and apps before getting them for your child. There are thousands of apps and games that claim to be educational, but not all of them are. Search online to see which ones educators and doctors consider the best.
  • Schedule plenty of non-screen time into your child’s day. Unstructured playtime is important for building creativity, so young children should have time to play away from screens every day. Family meals and bedtimes are also important times to put the screens away and interact with your child. 

Reviewed By: Kids Health Medical Experts
This article was originally published on: kidshealth.org (here)

Kids & Heirs Blog – A “hub” of curated posts with valuable content, so you spend less time searching and more time with your little heirs.

Too Much Screen Time May Stunt Toddlers’ Brains

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Toddlers who spend loads of time looking at tablets, smartphones or TVs may be changing their brains, and not for the better. 

A new study using brain scans showed that the white matter in the brains of children who spent hours in front of screens wasn’t developing as fast as it was in the brains of kids who didn’t. 

It’s in the white matter of the brain where language, other literacy skills, and the process of mental control and self-regulation develop, researchers say. 

“What we think happens is that the development of these skills really depends on the quality of the experience, such as interaction with people, interaction with the world and playing,” explained lead researcher Dr. John Hutton. He is director of the Reading and Literacy Discovery Center at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital.

The first five years of life is the critical time when these brain connections are rapidly developing, Hutton explained.

“Some types of screen media may provide suboptimal stimulation to reinforce the connection of fibers in the brain and the skills they support, such as early language and literacy skills,” he said. 

Although TV has been around for decades, Hutton pointed out that the recent explosion of portable screen devices has greatly increased the time kids spend looking at them. 

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that kids under 18 months shouldn’t be exposed to screens at all. From 18 to 24 months, if parents choose, digital media should include only high-quality programming that the child and parent watch together. 

For kids aged 2 to 5, screen time should be limited to 1 hour per day, and parents should watch the programs with their child. Also, parents should have times when screens are turned off, and bedrooms should be media-free. 

For the study, Hutton and his colleagues did MRI scans of the brains of 47 kids, aged 3 to 5 years. The children also took tests to evaluate their cognitive (“thinking”) skills. 

Parents were asked to complete a questionnaire that identified their ScreenQ, which tells how much time their children spend in front of screens, and how closely they follow the AAP recommendations.

The researchers found that the higher the ScreenQ score, the lower the child’s ability to rapidly name objects (a measure of mental-processing speed), and the lower their developing literacy skills. 

Also, higher ScreenQ scores were tied to delayed white matter development, specifically the process that allows nerve impulses to move more quickly throughout the brain. 

Hutton believes that the developing brain needs the stimulation of other people and the real world to rise to its potential. 

“Young children really depend on relationships with people, interacting with the world, using all their senses,” he said. “The more parents can keep their children off screens in early childhood and let them interact with people in the world, the better.” 

It’s possible that the delayed brain development caused by screens can be made up later, but it’s harder for the brain to change the older you get, Hutton added. 

Reshma Naidoo, director of cognitive neuroscience at Nicklaus Children’s Hospital in Miami, said that watching screens is passive and two-dimensional, both of which aren’t good for developing brains. 

“From my perspective, the biggest problems we are seeing is a lot less social engagement with children,” she said. “We’re starting to see a lot more children that have these very dysfunctional social patterns, and they’re more responsive to media.” 

Parents need to set the example for their children, Naidoo said. “We need to shift their focus and engage with our children,” she added.

Parents who let their children watch screens should use the time to interact with their child rather than making screen time passive, she advised. 

“But I strongly recommend limiting the amount of time that you spend in front of those environments,” Naidoo said. 

The report was published online Nov. 4 in JAMA Pediatrics.

Author: Steven Reinberg
This article was originally published on: WebMD.com (here)

Kids & Heirs Blog – A “hub” of curated posts with valuable content, so you spend less time searching and more time with your little heirs.

Kids’ Coughs: How to Tell When It’s Serious

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Photo: iStock

Use this primer to quickly identify different types of coughs and which one might be ailing your child.

When Tess Duke woke up in the night with a barking cough and difficulty breathing, her mother, Jane, didn’t panic. A registered nurse, she recognized the “ark, ark, ark” cough of croup and tried to help her daughter with a bit of cold air and then some steam from the shower. But when the four-year-old started gasping and losing the colour in her face, Jane knew it was time to head to emergency.

Fortunately, most kids’coughs don’t warrant a midnight visit to the ER. “In the majority of cases, coughing is caused by an upper respiratory infection, otherwise known as the common cold,” says Norman Saunders, associate professor of paediatrics at the University of Toronto and co-editor of Caring for Kids: The Complete Canadian Guide to Children’s Health. So how do you know what’s trouble and what’s not? Listen up. The sound of your child’s cough —and when you hear it—can clue you in to what’s causing it.

Asthma

Sounds like a persistent, wheezy cough and shortness of breath that’s often worse at night, after exercise or exposure to cold air, smoke or dust mites.

Treat it with prescribed medication and avoiding identified asthma triggers. Diagnosed children can lead a fairly symptom-free life if they learn to control their asthma effectively, says Sheldon Spier, director of paediatric respiratory medicine at the University of Calgary. Always start the medication at the first cough or wheeze — the later asthma meds are taken, the longer it takes to stop the wheezing. Also, get kids to review proper puffer techniques with their doctor or pharmacist too, says Spier. For example, a spacer and a mask will help deliver the medication more effectively for younger children. Find out more at asthmaincanada.com.

Seek medical help if wheezing is severe, breathing is difficult or your child needs to use her asthma inhaler more than every four hours.

Bronchiolitis

Sounds like rapid breathing and wheezy exhalation. This kids’ cough is caused by a viral infection. It sounds exactly like asthma and usually occurs from late fall to early spring in children under the age of one.

Treat it with lots of fluids, rest, and a cool-mist humidifier in your child’s room to help loosen mucus. Mild cases usually improve within a week.

Seek medical help if your child is having difficulty breathing. Some children will need oxygen, which requires hospitalization, or epinephrine to open up the airway.

Sinusitis

Sounds like hacking and coughing that occurs whenever your child lies down. The cough is caused by mucus dripping from the nose and sinuses to the back of the throat, and may be accompanied by green nasal discharge.

Treat it with plenty of fluids and a vaporizer in your child’s bedroom to help relieve her stuffy nose. Use warm water or saline nose drops to wash out dried mucus. Avoid medicated nose drops or sprays, however (see Do’s and Don’ts for Coughs and Colds).

Seek medical help if your child has a fever, chills or continuing cough and thick green discharge that lasts 10 or more days. Sinusitis is bacterial and requires antibiotics to treat it.

Common cold

Sounds like a wet, phlegmy cough that is often accompanied by fever. Most children come down with at least six to 10 colds a year.

Treat it with saline nose drops only, for a child who’s under six months of age, as over-the-counter products may have undesirable side effects. “Benadryl, for example, usually makes kids sleepy, but with babies it wires them,” says Ari Brown, a paediatrician in Austin, Texas, and author of Toddler 411: Clear Answers and Smart Advice for Your Toddler. Older kids can take ibuprofen or acetaminophen to relieve fever and accompanying aches. Warm broths are comforting, and a cool-mist humidifier will help loosen mucus.

Seek medical help if the cough or fever hasn’t improved after five days, other symptoms last longer than 10 days, or new symptoms such as a middle-ear infection develop (signs of the latter include earache, vomiting and high fever). See a doctor immediately if your baby under three months has difficulty breathing or a fever over 39°C (102°F), refuses feedings, or is vomiting or otherwise very sick. Babies from three to 12 months with the same symptoms should be seen within 24 hours.

Croup

Sounds like a barky seal-like cough and hoarse speech. A high-pitched, gasping inhalation, called stridor, may occur too, if the airway becomes markedly swollen. Croup is most common in children under five years of age.

Treat it with warm, moist air to help relax the airway. Sit with your child in a steamy bathroom with the door closed for five or 10 minutes. Sometimes, a blast of cool night air does the trick too.

Seek medical help if your child’s cough becomes worse. Head to the ER if more severe symptoms arise, particularly a bluish tongue or lips, or stridor that goes on for more than 10 minutes. Steroid medications can reduce inflammation safely and quickly.

Habit cough

Sounds like a dry, brassy cough that typically starts after a respiratory illness, often in school-aged children. Although it’s often psychological — the habit may start or worsen due to stress — coughing can irritate the throat and perpetuate the cycle.

Treat it with throat lozenges for kids over age seven (plain-tasting so kids don’t start popping them like candy), which can help suppress the urge to cough. Identify situations that trigger the cough and try stress-reducing breathing techniques.

Seek medical help if the cough persists. Your doctor may refer your child to a psychologist for an assessment.

Whooping cough

Sounds like staccato-like coughing attacks followed by a whooping sound. Your child may turn red or even blue, before finally catching his breath, and may vomit afterwards. While infants and adults don’t usually whoop, they can stop breathing for up to 30 seconds. Children who haven’t been fully immunized are the most vulnerable to whooping cough, also known as pertussis. Since immunizations wane with age, it can be spread by adults who don’t realize they have it, warns Saunders.

Treat it with a cool-mist humidifier if your house is dry. It will help ease your child’s cough, which could continue on and off for months. Coughing is necessary to clear the airway of mucus, so avoid cough medications (see Do’s and Don’ts for Coughs and Colds).

Seek medical help if your child is under the age of two, as pertussis can be life-threatening. While the infection isn’t as serious in older children, they should still be examined by their doctor. Antibiotics, such as erythromycin, shorten the infectious period to five days, but don’t significantly reduce symptoms once coughing spasms have started. Other members of the household will need a preventive antibiotic or vaccine booster.

Tips to keep in mind

Do wash hands often to prevent the virus from spreading to the rest of your family and significantly reduce future colds.

Don’t use over-the-counter cough medications. “A lot of kids are treated in emergency after overdosing on cough medicine, and there is no strong evidence they work,” says Norman Saunders, associate professor of paediatrics at the University of Toronto. In fact, a recent US study found that over a two-year period, more than 1,500 babies and toddlers were hospitalized due to bad reactions. Combining cough syrup and pain relievers could result in an overdose of a shared medicinal ingredient, such as acetaminophen.

Do disinfect humidifiers regularly and empty the water after each use to avoid unhealthy bacteria. Find more on cool-mist humidifiers at hc-sc.gc.ca.

Don’t be surprised if your doctor recommends the use of a puffer to treat your child’s lingering cough. “Doctors are trying to be more aggressive about treating kids who may have asthma but haven’t been officially diagnosed,” says Ari Brown, a paediatrician in Austin, Texas.

Don’t use medicated nose drops or sprays. The Canadian Paediatric Society doesn’t recommend these for children under six. They provide only brief relief and may worsen congestion if used for more than two to three days.

Author: Cheryl Embrett
This article was originally published on: TodaysParent.com (here)

Kids & Heirs Blog – A collection of curated posts with valuable content, so you spend less time searching and more time with your little heirs.

Daycare Germs: What You Need to Know

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Photo: iStock

If your baby or toddler is about to start child care, here’s what you need to know about the inevitable germ onslaught.

Before my daughter started daycare at 19 months, I could count on one hand the number of times she’d been sick. But after only two months in the daycare germ storm, I’d already lost count. It was a seemingly endless stream of runny noses, low-grade fevers, mysterious rashes and minor bouts of diarrhea. And from what I’ve gleaned from commiserating with other parents of toddlers over the years, we got off easy. A friend whose daughter had just started daycare had to cancel plans with us twice in one week: The first time because her daughter had contracted pink eye, and then again five days later because she’d caught hand, foot and mouth disease.

Henry Ukpeh, a paediatrician in Peterborough, Ont., confirms that it’s normal for toddlers starting group child care to get sick—developing as many as eight to 12 colds in the first 12 months. This is because daycares are “the perfect environment for the transmission of viruses,” he says.

Many of the typical illnesses found in daycare settings, including the common cold, stomach bugs, conjunctivitis (pink eye) and hand, foot and mouth disease, are caused by viruses. (Ear infections can be caused by either a virus or bacteria. The common cold can cause swelling and congestion in the nose and throat, and in a toddler’s tiny ear tubes, which is what causes the earache.) These bugs are easily spread through direct and indirect contact between toddlers in close proximity, who are likely wiping their noses, sneezing and coughing while sharing toys and food—no matter how many times the daycare workers clean the diaper-change station or disinfect toys that have been drooled on.

Other common outbreaks at daycares and schools can include gastroenteritis, lice, respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) and pinworms (sorry!).

Ukpeh’s best advice for keeping the whole family healthy is to make sure everyone is getting lots of rest and eating nutritious food. Always wash your toddler’s hands as soon as you get home from daycare, and before they eat or interact with siblings.

Children over the age of six months should get a yearly flu shot. The Canadian Paediatric Society also recommends flu shots for any adult caregivers living or working with kids under age five. If it’s the first time your child has ever had a flu shot, they’ll need two separate doses, four weeks apart. (The nasal flu vaccine is not available in Canada this year.)

Kate Mason,* an early childhood educator in Sudbury, Ont., works at a daycare and sends her two-and-a-half-year-old son, Max,* to another one. She knows how futile the war against germs can feel. “At work, we’re constantly disinfecting and cleaning and washing hands. When I come home, I change my clothes as soon as I walk in the door. Even so, when Max first started daycare and I went back to work, we were both sick all the time.” Mason also gets frustrated when moms and dads drop off kids who are sick, but she understands some parents (including herself) don’t always have much choice. “Yes, I grumble about the parents dropping off kids with diarrhea. But 30 minutes earlier I might have been telling my husband, ‘Don’t tell the daycare about the fever Max had last night!’”

Check your daycare’s parent handbook for their policies. Often, a child is not allowed to return to the centre until they’ve been fever-free (or diarrhea-free) for 24 hours. That means if a daycare worker notices your child is running a temperature at 3 p.m., they won’t be allowed to attend care the next day, even if the fever has vanished by morning. Most daycares will not give medications like Tylenol or Advil, either.

Michelle Richea, a Toronto naturopathic doctor and mom of one, says it isn’t realistic to expect even the healthiest kid to avoid getting sick when they start daycare. But there are some things parents can do to support a toddler’s immune system. In addition to serving foods that are rich in protein, zinc and vitamin C and free of refined sugar, parents should consider supplementing toddlers’ diets with immune-boosting vitamin D and probiotics, both of which are available in kid-friendly drops and chewable tablets. “It’s also important to remember that kids need to be exposed to viruses to build their immune systems,” says Richea.

A long-term study conducted by researchers at the University of Montreal from 1998 to 2006 found that toddlers in group child care get sick more often than those who stay at home. But it found that those same kids get sick less often than their peers during the elementary school years. In other words, your kids are going to get sick sooner or later. It’s reassuring to know that all the late nights and nose wiping now might mean fewer sick days in a couple of years.

* Names have been changed.

Author: Kalli Anderson
This article was originally posted on: Today’sParent.com (here)

Kids & Heirs Blog – A collection of curated posts with valuable content, so you spend less time searching and more time with your little heirs.

The Only Parenting Advice You Really Need

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Hundreds of experts agree: It pretty much boils down to this.

1. Let your kids fail.

To learn self-sufficiency, kids need to occasionally dust themselves off (literally and figuratively) without your help. “Most parents know what their children are capable of but step in to make things easier for them,” says Sheri Noga, the author of Have the Guts to Do It Right: Raising Grateful and Responsible Children in an Era of Indulgence. Remember: Long-term benefits—a teenager who knows how to do her own laundry, for example—trump momentary discomfort. Before you rush in to help with any physical task, ask yourself: “Is my child in real danger?” Then—and this applies to other challenges, like the social studies poster due tomorrow—think about whether your child has the necessary skills (dexterity and balance) or simply adequate sleep and a snack. Yes? Time to back off and see what happens.

2. Abide by the three rules of homework.

Number one: “Eat the frog,” says Ted Theodorou, a middle-school social studies teacher in Fairfax County, Virginia. That’s shorthand for “Do the hardest thing first.” Rule number two: Put away the phone. Homework time can’t be totally tech-free (computers, alas, are often a necessary evil), but it can at least be free of text messages. Rule number three: As soon as assignments are finished, load up the backpack for tomorrow and place it by the door. This is a clear three-step process that kids can internalize, so there’s less nagging from you. (Yes!)

3. Memorize the acronym H.A.L.T.

Tantrums often happen because the thrower is Hungry, Agitated, Lonely, or Tired

4. Plan not-so-random acts of kindness.

Kids need to know that helping others is an everyday practice, not a visit-a-soup-kitchen-at-the-holidays grand gesture. Challenge yours to complete small tasks every week, like throwing away another kid’s trash at lunch or raking a neighbor’s lawn. Training your children to focus on others helps curb entitlement. “Gratitude becomes woven into who they are,” says Jeffrey J. Froh, a coauthor of Making Grateful Kids.

5. Be strict about bedtime.

A study published in 2013 in the journal Pediatrics found that seven-year-olds who had irregular bedtimes had more behavioral problems than did those with consistent bedtimes. And the longer the lack of a strict bedtime went on, the worse the problems became. If you work outside the home, it’s tempting to keep kids up to have more time with them. But as much as possible, stay the course—even if that means you sometimes miss lights out. “We all make sacrifices,” says Heather Taylor, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Morrissey-Compton Educational Center, in Redwood City, California. “Call or video-chat to say good night. Just be part of the routine.”

6. Let them read what they want.

Kids who read for pleasure excel academically—not only in language arts but, as recent research from the Institute of Education, in London, found, in math as well. So while you wish he would pick up Dickens, don’t make him feel bad about a graphic novel. “A ‘junky’ series can be good if it gets kids hooked on the habit of reading,” says Mary Leonhardt, a former high school English teacher and the author of Parents Who Love Reading, Kids Who Don’t.

7. Don’t pay your kids to clean their rooms.

“If you give them a buck to make their beds, then when you ask them to help you carry in the groceries, they’ll say, ‘How much? Why would I do that for free when you pay me to make my bed?'” says author and parenting expert Alyson Schafer. You can give your child an allowance as an introduction to money management and possibly for overall good behavior. But don’t tie it dollar-for-dollar to everyday chores.

8. Model brave behavior.

Want confident kids? They will be less likely to be easily flustered if they see you taking healthy risks. “A lot of adults won’t go to a movie solo because they would be embarrassed to be seen sitting alone. So do it, then talk to your kids about it,” says David Allyn, the author of I Can’t Believe I Just Did That. Similarly, if your kids see you laugh when you realize that your shirt has been on backwards all morning, maybe they’ll giggle, instead of feeling embarrassed, when it happens to them.

9. Repeat: I am not a short-order cook.

“It’s a child’s job to learn to eat what the parents eat,” says Ellyn Satter, a registered dietitian and the author of Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family. Instead of the all-or-nothing scenario, offer a variety of foods at mealtime: the main course, plus rice or pasta, a fruit or vegetable, and milk. This way, your child can eat just the pasta and the peas and get protein from the milk. “What a child eats over the course of a day or a week is more important than a balanced meal at one sitting,” says Stephen Daniels, the chairman of the department of pediatrics at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, in Aurora.

10. Pay attention at age 14.

That’s when most kids start to resist peer influence and flex the think-for-myself muscle, rather than simply following the leader, according to a study published in Developmental Psychology. Want to help strengthen that muscle at any age? Put screens aside and circle the wagons every night. Ask, “What’s new with your friends?” This will (here’s hoping, if he talks) give you a chance to decode what’s happening behind the scenes and offer support.

11. Tackle fears with common sense.

If she’s scared of dogs, don’t hustle her across the street when one is coming. Demystify the fear. (“Oh, a puppy! Let’s ask the owner if we can feel how soft his fur is.”) In tense moments—shots come to mind—be sympathetic but not too emotional, says Atlanta-area pediatrician Roy Benaroch. Say, “It will be OK. It will be over in a few minutes,” not, “I know—it hurts! It hurts!”

12. To get little kids to be quiet, lower your voice instead of raising it.

This forces kids to focus. Got a whole pack to corral? Whisper, “If you want to hear what we’re doing next, hop on one foot.” Goofy jumping is bound to be contagious.

13. Put on your own oxygen mask first.

In other words, take care of yourself or you can’t be a fully engaged parent. Parents who deprive themselves of rest, food, and fun for the sake of their kids do no one a favor. “People feel guilty when they work a lot, so they want to give all their free time to their kids,” says Fred Stocker, a child psychiatrist at the University of Louisville School of Medicine, in Kentucky. “But you risk getting squeezed dry and emotionally exhausted.” A spa weekend may not be realistic, but it’s OK to take 15 minutes for a bath after you walk in the door. (A tall request for a kid, yes, but a happier Uno player goes a long way.) Running ragged between activities? Ask your child to prioritize, says Taylor. She may be dying for you to chaperone a field trip but ambivalent about your missing a swim meet—the ideal amount of time for a pedicure.

Author: RealSimple.com

This article was first published on: realsimple.com (here)


The Worst Parenting Advice From Mothers-In-Law, According To 11 Moms

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I had a, shall we say, contentious relationship with my mother-in-law. I felt judged the moment I came into her son’s life. I assumed giving her a grandchild would fix things, but my pregnancy opened the flood gates for a lot of unsolicited advice. It’s not that I didn’t want help learning how to be a good mom. I just didn’t want her advice. After all, my mother-in-law’s advice is some of the worst parenting advice I’ve heard in my over 10 years of parenting.

For example, I was told I had to stop breastfeeding in the living room at Thanksgiving, because nursing “should be done in private.” And when I gave my baby a bottle of formula, she asked why I couldn’t “just make more milk.” She recommended spanking my toddler when she hit me to “teach her a lesson,” (I don’t understand how you can teach a child that hitting is bad… by hitting them), and when I told her I was feeding my kids a vegetarian diet, she said I had to at least feed my son meat, because “growing boys need meat.”

Anonymous

Ashley Batz/ Romper

“I got milk fever really badly and was really, really engorged when my milk first came in. I made an appointment to go see an IBCLC to get things sorted out. My husband was talking to her on the phone and told her we had an appointment. She made light of it to my husband, saying that breastfeeding was ‘natural’ and women of my generation made ‘too much of things.’ Good moms who are breastfeeding shouldn’t need help or instruction, apparently.”

Carrie

“She told me to let my daughter ‘cry it out‘ when she was 4 weeks old. She also told me, ‘You shouldn’t have to feed her that often. She probably only wants it for comfort and therefore doesn’t really need it.’

This is the same woman that told my daughter she needed to start growing taller instead of wider. My daughter was 10 at the time, and was playing on two different soccer teams.”

Olivia

“Everything she told me was because she was a nurse and had three kids that turned out ‘fine,’ so she was obviously more qualified to parent my baby. The worst was that I needed to put rice cereal in my breast milk (I was nursing, and had no idea how I was supposed to do that). She also told me that I *needed* to give him dairy milk, all starting around the time he was 2 months old. She did both of those things and gave him formula behind my back for months.”

Beau

“She told me to deal with my postpartum depression by cleaning my house and looking out the window.”

Melissa

Ashley Batz/ Romper

“My first mother-in-law was a narcissist who insisted that my child was her second chance at being a mom. She referred to herself as mom, and took him and kept him from me for five hours when he was 11 days old because she wanted him to take formula instead of breast milk.

My second mother-in-law insisted that I needed to starve myself so I could be thin, to be a better example for my kids. She also heavily favored one of my kids over the rest, and would blatantly show this favoritism in front of the others.”

Gemma

“My son got embarrassed about something and was really upset. He likes to be left alone when this happens but my mother-in-law kept getting in his face. He started off politely saying, ‘I want to be alone please. Can you please leave me alone?’ When that didn’t work, he started getting mad and said, ‘Go away! Leave me alone!’

I said, ‘Let him be,’ but my mother-in-law said, ‘No, we should be with him!’

Within five minutes he was fine and back to his normal happy self. I refused to discipline him for yelling; if his boundaries had been respected, he wouldn’t have resorted to yelling, so I don’t see it as rude.

I understand where my husband got it from. It took years of fights before he learned you do not get in someone’s face when they tell you they need a minute.”

Maghan

“Don’t hold the baby so much, you’ll spoil him.”

Rebecca

“About two weeks after giving birth to our son, we were at the in-laws house for brunch. My then-husband got a call from a friend to play in a softball tournament. He took off. I was stranded at the in-laws without a car. I was shocked and emotional. His mom told me that I needed to calm down and realize that he’s a good man… because he doesn’t hit me. Then, she told me it’s not proper to breastfeed in front of a man, so I was sent to feed my newborn alone in a room across the house each time my son needed to be fed.”

Stacy

Ashley Batz/ Romper

“The worst advice she gave me was while I was pregnant. She said salads were bad for the baby.”

Gemma

“When [my son] was a newborn, she told me giving him a couple drops of water would stop hiccups (spoiler, it doesn’t).”

Kiraa

“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you! I had four kids and never asked anyone for help. I just did stuff during nap time. Have you thought of that? Doing stuff during nap time?”

Author: Stephanie Montgomery

This article was first published on Romper. (here)

5 Parenting Tips to Raise Your Children for Success

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Success is no accident, it takes hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.

For parents, success is something that children should be encouraged to achieve. However, in order for children to be successful, they must first be given the tools and habits that they need to benefit from the advice and words of wisdom from their parents.

Here are five parenting tips that will give you the guidance that you need to help your children be more successful in their current and future endeavors and it can improve your relationship with your child.

“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.” – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

1. Set Goals

First, have your children set goals, no matter their age.

Goals are an incredible way to help your children achieve heightened levels of success. The goals that you set will need to be based on the specific needs of your child.

Younger children tend to thrive when they are given short term goals. It might be to “make the bed every morning,” or “read a book by the end of the week.”

No matter what the goal is, it should be designed so that they establish good habits.

2. Reward Achievements

It is important that your children are rewarded when they achieve their goals.

From giving them their favorite dessert to letting them play a game before bedtime, there are countless types of beneficial rewards that you can give your children when they achieve their goals.

Remember that the reward should match the level of the goal.

In other words, if your child achieves a minor goal, then they should receive a smaller reward. However, if your child achieves a major goal, then they should be given a larger reward.

The key to the latter strategy is to make sure that your child understands the different levels of goals and subsequent rewards. By understanding the system, your child can more effectively learn to not only achieve their goals but to also set goals of their own.

3. Create a Nurturing Environment

Create an environment where everyone shares their goals.

Success shouldn’t be a singular adventure.

Instead, success should be something that everyone can partake in and enjoy.

To create an environment that nurtures and supports success you can turn to a technique from the Kennedy family.

At dinner ask, “What is one thing you learned today? What is one thing you accomplished today?” These two subtle questions help children to recognize how they were successful in their own unique ways.

For example, they might have (successfully) learned how to solve a new type of math problem. They might have also climbed to the top of the rope ladder for the first time in gym that day.

No matter what thing was learned or accomplished, be sure to support your children as they discover the emotional and mental benefits of sharing their successes with the rest of the family.

4. Use Photographs

Using photographs helps to create a supportive environment.

Using specific photographs help to support your children on their journeys towards new levels of success.

Have them keep two photos in their room somewhere that is visible to them.

The first photograph should show your child completing an activity that they are good at.

For example, they might be holding a soccer ball next to the goal, or they might be holding up their latest piece of art.

The second photograph should show a happy family moment. For example, the second photograph might show the entire family watching Fourth of July fireworks or smiling before taking the ski lift on a family vacation.

No matter what photos you choose, you want your child to look at the pictures and remember that they are talented, loved, and surrounded by people who support them.

Through two simple photographs, you can help your children have high self-esteem, which leads to greater levels of success.

Your children can look at the photographs and receive the positive affirmations that they need to know that they are both loved and capable.

5. Create Vision Boards

Have your children create a vision board.

Just as you look ahead to achieving new goals in your personal and professional life, your children should also learn to look ahead to the future.

Fortunately, you can turn making a vision board into a fun family event. Once the family creates their own Vision Boards, have a family vision board party.

This will allow you to learn about your children’s goals, as well as share yours with them. By getting them in the habit of visualizing, you can encourage your children to visualize their future successes.

Whether it is getting an A+ on the upcoming Spanish test, or getting into the college of their dreams, visualization is a powerful tool that will help your children succeed throughout the various stages of their lives.

The bottom line here is…

Give your children all of the tools they need to succeed.

No matter their age, you can use the above tips to help your children achieve new levels of success.

In addition to the above tips, you can also encourage your children in middle school and high school to read books with positive messages, attend meditation sessions that will help them to achieve balance and focus, and listen to motivational talks that will inspire them to achieve greatness.

The Law of Attraction is also a fundamental key to success that is important for you, and your kids, to understand.

Author: Jack Canfield

This article was first published on: Positively Positive (here)